There is a guy that works down the chip shop that swears he is Elvis

Fake News

There is a guy that works down the  chip shop that swears he is Elvis.

I know this  because

I saw  it on  the  BBC 

I read it in the newspaper 

I heard it on the radio 

Its being discussed  on  Facebook and Twitter too

So... I gave a 'letter to the postman, he put it in his sack but by early next morning he bought my letter  back!  It was wrote upon it:  ' return to sender', address unknown no such number, no such zone!

I was caught in a trap,    but I cant walk out ... because I love chips too much baby. Why  can't they see what the  news was doing to me? I don't believe a word they are saying .

We can't go on together,  with suspicious minds,  I thought. 

I was  all shook up

My mind was spinning and my knees went weak  
I was  itchin' like I  was on a fuzzy tree
My friends said I  was   actin' wild as a bug

Ooohh,  I was  all shook up

Is  the guy that works down the chip shop that swears he is Elvis,   really Elvis?

This thought was 'always on my mind'. It was always on my mind.

So I Twittered  and Facebook-ed it  again. Elvis,  serves chips and calls them fries!

Apparently Elvis,  has been working in the fish shop  since, well for ages,  for ages, serving fish, chips and  the occasional scallop

Its 'now or never'! I thought.  So, I went on a long lonely highway to find out.

 It's a long lonely highway when you're travellin' all alone
And it's a mean old world when you got no-one to call your own
And you pass through towns too small to even have a name, oh yes
But you gotta keep on goin', on that road to nowhere

Eventually  I arrived at ' No Where ' fish n chip saloon. It was no great shakes to be honest, I was not impressed.  It was in a small alleyway, had one fish and one chip fryer, a counter made from Formica and a picture of a waterfall on the wall. I braced myself and marched in.

I looked Elvis  up  and down... that's  'dodgy',  I thought, a wax work, wearing a pin stripe overall serving me fish and chips and offering me scollops.  

 Do you want something to eat or not? ' He said.

'how much does it cost '  I  asked?

'Euros, the pound a few dollars...'   'We also  take bit coin here'  he spat ...

The he said again but a bit more forceful...' do you actually want something? '

'Are you Elvis'? I asked

'Do I look like Elvis' he said?

'A bit, ' I replied

'Another bloody Facebook and Twitter tourist' he sighed.

I  thought ...

A little less conservation a bit more action,

All this aggravation ain't satisfactioning me
A little more bite and a little less bark
A little less fight and a little more spark
Close your mouth and open up your heart and baby, satisfy me
Satisfy me, baby

'Fries and curry sauce with salt and vinegar please.'  I  replied.

There’s a guy works down the chip shop swears he’s Elvis he ain't
so that's a lie,  can i be  sure about you ...?